Thanks for reading and responding. Two thoughts. One is that I think I have had an impulse to save things for as long as I can remember. I was a collector as a child - of rocks, of baseball cards, of mementos. Later, when I was a teen, I would go to rummage sales and thrift stores and find items that I could give a second life to. I think that my long term interest in genealogy is an extension of of those early collections. I would like other people to notice all the work I have done, and I can sympathize with not having someone to pass it on to. I went to a family reunion years ago and I sort of expected people to appreciate more the hundreds of hours I had put in. Not really. In the end I have come to expect my close friends and family not to show interest or much engagement in anything I show intense focus on.
I think that is part of my Medium journey. I started out writing essay-length facebook posts and interacting with a few friends and family. Then I moved the posts to Medium and would only post a link on Facebook. I got fewer and fewer interactions from real life friends and family and gradually stopped posting more than the occasional link. So now I read other people's essays and have a few regular readers and none of them are people I know IRL. Like, I needed to find people who are into to writing and thinking as much as I am.
It is that way with genealogy - I have a few people who I have met through Ancestry who are extended family and they are as obsessed as I am. I feel like they are kindred spirits and it is a little unnerving because I had started to think I was the only one. No children here, either. So I guess my public tree on Ancestry is like a book I am writing for another future person who shares the obsession behavior and is distantly related. I can imagine them stumbling on my tree and finding person after person with documents and photos attached, all related to them. It is like I have spent many hours working on a jigsaw puzzle, and I want someone to notice. But, just like with jigsaw puzzles, when someone comes from the outside and isn't invested in the puzzle, they just keep walking.
The other thing is I get the thing about wanting to have some of your time back. I think I have something like a free-floating ability to focus on something. It attaches itself to a challenge and then it won't let go. Fifteen years ago I read a book about competitive Scrabble and I went to a Scrabble club. They told me about tournaments. Then for the next five years, I studied the scrabble dictionary systematically, learning the 2,3,4,5 letter words and the top 2000 7 and 8 letter words. I studied strategy, and played online. I went to three or four tournaments a year and won money and gained a ranking. I saw that ranking go up and played against some of the best in the world. My focus took up one to two hours a day in study and online play.

It was a lot, but it didn't affect my work or personal life. It was just something I was compelled to do. I have had other things that I have focused on over the years like that. Reading. Getting good grades. Becoming good at soccer or basketball. learning languages. learning about Montessori education or organic farming. Although I appreciate all I have learned and done, there is some part of me that was compelled to do all of that. A lot of it was solitary. Almost all. And on some level, I think it all might be some sort of response to childhood adverse experiences. Like I am trying to build up protective defenses.
I did find kindred spirits in the scrabble world. One friend, Paul, would play with me during tournaments before and after sanctioned play. I think that is what I was looking for.

I suppose Medium writing is my current thing I focus on. I think it adds to my stress and doesn't relieve it. I find myself checking my phone more than I want to. And thinking about responding to responses or writing new pieces more than I really have a time budget for. I suppose, it cuts into time with my partner or friends.
Anyway - I always appreciate a clap, highlight or response from you