Thank you for taking the time to respond. I hear you. I am in a learning process here and your perspective is helpful.

So if you read down, I end up denying that men are shit or anyone is shit. But I can see your point. Any critique of how maleness operates in the world is necessarily sexist, even as I am attempting to criticize the elements of masculinity that are about domination of others.

When people (including me) write about "white people" I can bristle because the number of people who fit into that category is too big to have the term say anything useful about an individual. Same with men. For me to know that you are a man tells me nothing for certain about you. And for me to dismiss you because you are a man is sexist and wrong.

I think both whiteness and maleness are identities that are put on me. Although there are some biological realities that distinguish men from women, I think much of what distinguishes men is cultural - we learn it or absorb it.

I think it is worth examining maleness as a social construct and seeing whether domination is part of it. In my essay I propose that maleness operates like a binary script that a person either attempts to take on or doesn't. I further speculate that the binary script I learned as a kid was corrupted by domination patterns (that both go against women and other men).

So I don't think men are shit, but I think some of the patterns of maleness are shit, and I want to divest myself of patterns that don't serve me or the people around me.

I think putting it out there so early in the essay that most men are shit was a mistake. My purpose in writing was to legitimately ask the question "Is something wrong with men?" I try to answer it with nuance, but perhaps I failed at that, given your and other folks' reactions.

I think I could ask the same question about any of my identities. "Is something wrong with white people? Is something wrong with Cis-het folks? Is something wrong with people who were raised Christian?" The answer is always the same. No, there is nothing inherently wrong with anyone, but yes, people with those identities can tend to act out problematic patterns unawarely, mostly because those identities hold privilege within this particular society.

Thanks again for writing. Based on your comment, I will edit the piece. But I think you might still think it is too critical of men and maleness.