Thank you for taking the time to read and respond and add your voice to this discussion. I look forward to reading more of your essays.

As much as I "get it," I forget it too. Despite being raised in a "colorblind" feminist household, the culture around me taught me to be a man-splaining, homophobic, low-key white supremacist. I understand that the word "woke" has lost any meaning, but I do think "waking up" is a good way to describe the process of becoming aware of the impact of my own words and actions. It is embarrassing, and I would rather look away, but I can't.

I appreciate your story about the cake pan and the racist grandma. I've seen it. It is a strange contradiction that some of the "nicest" people I know can be the most bigoted and intolerant.