It is possible that there is some sort of multi Venn diagram out there of toxic and positve traits that are associated with different identities - including women, men, nationality, sexual orientation, race, age, etc. Perhaps culture could magnify or diminish certain traits. For instance, I lived in Honduras and toxic masculinity was much more normalized there than in the USA. Machismo dictated that men whistle and make comments at teenaged girls and strict gender roles saw women cooking and cleaning while men got to have leisure. In that system, some women had their own toxic traits.

Are all those traits just individual to each person? Or are generalizations that can be made across an identity?

For sure not every man in Honduras lived the machismo lifestyle. Some of my friends were examples of men who would not be in that category. But it was the norm.

My goal was to raise questions that are real questions. I went into writing the essay wanting to argue with Yael and say (like you) that she was wrong to lump all men together. Instead I entertained her idea that there are some characteristics that most het men carry that are toxic. I'm not entirely convinced myself but I do believe all the me too people - something is happening and has been happening.

Maybe the toxicity is different or non-existent in different countries? I don't have enough experience to know.

I do now that I have certainly touched a nerve with this essay.